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 Tales of Ownage

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ExDBigysmals
The Godfather
The Godfather



Posts : 434
Join date : 2008-01-04

Tales of Ownage Empty
PostSubject: Tales of Ownage   Tales of Ownage EmptySun Aug 17, 2008 9:55 pm

Tales of Ownage

Id like another forum thing to be added in somewhere. A place where people can brag about past games and such.


Cuz I really wanna brag about this one

It was team swat. The team was Jack, Timmy, and myself. The Level:Rats Nest. It started out like any other match. Quickly we raced to hold a point of epic advantage (play epic running techno music). Sadly, lady luck was on her period (Timmy dont ask what that is yet) and before the first minute was through, the score read 8 to 5.
Hope was looking bleak. Timmy had already started his usual high pitched complaints of lag, and because of such, Jack was becoming quite infuriated. Team moral was down. We needed some sort of miracle. AND THEN, as luck would have it DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUN BLACK SCREEN!!!!!
I sat there. Saying God no. GOD NO. PLease dont let happen what I think is happening! (BEEP BEEP BEEEEEEP!) The game returned and my worst fears were confirmed. Jack and TImmy were gone. Disconected most likely by the hand of their tyrant mother (Ok so shes actually really nice, Im just goin for epic here)
(Camera quickly zooms in on my spartans face)

Oh crap


It was up to me. Branden Dane. COuld I do it? Quickly I wayed out the pros and cons. The Pros: Its team swat. One hit one kill. The playing field is leveled. Cons: I suck


My work was cut out for me. I charged around a corner and by luck THERE THEY ALL WERE! Quickly I began firing. BLAM BLAM BLAM! But my bullets, they could not penetrate! (NO SEXUAL INNUENDO!!) The opposing team had managed to slip into a glitch. They had placed themselves behind a fence. All three of them were impervious to my shots.

What to do?

I fired and fired and fired, praying that one shot would go through. The cheaters simply stacked themselves on top of each other, teabagging each others head. Laughing and taunting their single opponent. What could I do? I continued the barrage. JESUS PLEASE JUST ONE SHOT!!!

And then it happened

The miracle of Rats Nest


I jumped back and fired a single three round burst into the head of one of the cheaters. This shot was different. This shot held something more. I dont claim that God plays Halo. but........


Lets just say Some One up there was rooting for me



BLAM HEADSHOT. The bastard went down! Immediatly the two remaining opponents jumped and scurried about. I two was confused. Did what just happen REALLY HAPPEN!!!! I began to shake. I knew what had to be done. I knew the opportunity that I had been given. It was time to act. I let only one emotion taKE OVER MY BODY FROM THAT POINT ON. An emotion that a wise man named Ghandii once taught me.

Ghandiii:"Branden what do you like more than anything in the world'
Branden:"WOMEN!!!!"
Isaac:"BRANDEN NO! Thats bad"
Ghandii:"lol"
Branden"Ok ok. CHINESE FOOD!"
Ghandiii:"Ok Branden from now on when you feel yourself getting nervous, just imagine your eating chinese food. Get in your happy place"
Branden:"Can girls come?"
Isaac:"BRANDEN!!!"



I wasnt out of the water yet. I was still down and I still had to take on one guy. The remaining opponents didnt seem to be worried now. They were winning and I guess they figured their bud could handle me. 7 Minutes left on the clock.

The first time I saw him, he nailed me. And the second time he did the same. Still I persited. I was here with a chance I wasnt going to lose. I turned the corner we saw each other at the same time. BLAM! My luck had changed. He went down. I was still up. I went back by the fence were the other two opponents sat and mocked me. They wouldnt be mocking for long. The stranded opponent rounded the corner. BLAM!!! Got him. I took one last look at the people behind the cage and with that I left. The next two minutes passed rather quickly and very much in my favor. I had killed the stranded opponent so many times that I was now leading 12 to 10.

I guess the guys in the cage realized they could actually lose........

The next thing I know when I meet up with the stranded guy for a fight I die suddenly. But how? They left the cage.

Score 12 to 11. For realz now, 3 v 1. Time to kick some ace.


They got the next kill tieing it up. I began to get nervous again. Still four minutes left in the game and a tie game!!! I CANT WIN!!. Then I heard the voice of Ghandii again.

Ghandiii:"Branden its not that your a bad player you just need to know your surroundings. Look at the map. Analyze what to do and DO IT"
Branden:"Can I bring women?"


Understand my surroundings. I was killed at blue. OK at least one douche bag is at blue right now, and pretty soon he will come out the back door.


Ghandiii, your a genius


He walked out the back door. BLAM. Dead. Time for some exodus MANtage


(Play sweet amazing epic music)
I beasted them. Any time they came up, DEAD HEADSHOT. Time ran out.


Final score:Exodus 18 Douchebags 12


They didnt know what hit em





Anyways, I go upstairs to tell my mom and she congratulates me. Whats weird is she then goes on to tell me how she hates it when people glitch and how if you know the map really well, you can easily counter a glitch. She tells me of how just hours earlier she played against some people (rainbow 6 vegas) and they were doin something called the RZA glitch. She did some kinda manuever and beat them

I walked away. Forgetting about my recent victory and instead thinking about how weird of a mom I have




STORY END!
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